Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
