yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
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I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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