I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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