and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
