Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
