woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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