my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
