Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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