david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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