Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize