well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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