i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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