fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.