never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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