awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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