You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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