i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
