No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
