i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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