he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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