Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
that may or may not have been my penis.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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