She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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