youre lurking in front of me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I forgot wine drunk hurts
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize