My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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