another moral hangover. fuck.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
