brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
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