Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
