I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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