i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
