it's great music for shaving your balls
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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