She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
