On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
