i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
