so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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