How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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