Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
These tits shall not be calmed
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
