I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
