i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
