Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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