And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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