I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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