he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
