friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
