After last night, I could never be a politician.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
