You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
