i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
cat food counts as protein by the way
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
