he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
