capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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