i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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