I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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