Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
