I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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