i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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