If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
