Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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