I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
