yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Pooping to opera.
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