so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
